My boyfriend and I have been together almost 2 years and I’m not sure how much longer it will last. You see, I’ve been noticing a lot of other guys lately and I can’t help but wonder how a relationship with them would be. I always imagine that they won’t be as brash or frustrating as my current partner can be. For example, there is a guy at the Starbucks that I’m very attracted to who seems very funny too. I always feel guilty when I see my boyfriend knowing that I am tempted by this other guy. How can I be in a relationship where I’m always feeling guilty about things like that?
- Lisa, NJ
Temptation is part of every relationship. Just because we enter into a relationship of some kind doesn’t mean that everyone in the world automatically becomes less interesting and attractive. But if you think that you’re going to break up with your boyfriend and automatically fall into the arms of someone better, you’re probably incorrect. Sure, the guy at the coffee counter might have that great smile and quick wit, but how do you know that you won’t discover that he’s insecure or insanely jealous? How do you know that he can’t be just as brash and frustrating as your boyfriend? He, like everyone else in the world, is just as much of a package deal as your current partner is –
there are bad things that come with the good things. One mistake that people often make is comparing the middle of a relationship to the beginning of a relationship.
If you’re unhappy, move on. I’m all for that. However, if you only want to break up with your partner because you feel guilt for being attracted to something about someone else, don’t do it. As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. But don’t feel too badly unless you just mowed your neighbor’s yard.
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This article was published on Saturday 23 October, 2010.
