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I come very quickly. How can I slow things down?Dear Sex Doc, I come very quickly. How can I slow things down? Premature Paul Dear Premature Paul, This is an extremely common concern for men. In fact, rapid ejaculation (or what is often referred to as premature ejaculation) is the most common sexual problem for men. A 1999 study published in the Journal of American Medical Association found that 30% of men suffer from rapid ejaculation. Whenever guys say they ejaculate too quickly I always want to know how fast? The reason for this is that many men who generally last for 20 minutes can think that they suffer from rapid ejaculation. The average length of time for intercourse is actually between 5 and 7 minutes. And we generally don’t say someone is a rapid ejaculator unless they regularly ejaculate before 2 minutes of intercourse and that it is causing personal distress to either partner. Most often males who ejaculate too fast have a lot of anxiety about sex. This anxiety causes them to come quickly. Another problem for men with this concern is that they can’t recognize the eminent point of orgasm (or the point of no return). So if you really are a rapid ejaculator there are a few things you can do yourself or with a partner. One of the most important things is to figure out where your anxiety with sex comes from. Do you have cultural or religious views towards sexuality that make you feel guilty? Have you had a bad past experience? Did you get into a regular pattern when you were young of ejaculating quickly when you masturbated so you weren’t caught in the ‘act?’ A more hands on approach is called the ‘squeeze technique.’ Here, you (or your partner) will squeeze the middle of the underside of your erect penis right when you feel an orgasm is approaching. You may (or may not) lose your erection and you should not ejaculate. You keep doing this technique until you train yourself not to come too quickly. Best regards, Dr. Brian ParkerThis article was published on Saturday 10 May, 2008. |
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