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Are We Doomed Because Of Our Age Differences?
I'm 45 and my boyfriend is 23. We are not only sexually compatible but surprisingly mentally compatible as well. The one thing we do argue about is my career. I'm well out of graduate school and have carved out a pretty good career for myself. He's fresh out of college and of course hasn't established himself quite as much or for as long as I have, financially speaking. Now he is getting this crazy idea about becoming a Navy Seal. I feel like this relationship is out of control. What can I do? Are we doomed because of our age difference? I'm starting to think so.
- Old Enough to Know Better, Salem, OR I'm guessing that the Navy Seal thing is just his way of leveling the playing field. You do something he would like to do but can't (make money at this point in your life), and so now he wants to take back some of that power and do something you can't do. He feels that he's the man providing something to you and proving his worth. Anyway, I'm sure that your relationship is exciting to you and likely something new to him. But there are things to remember about relationships where there is a significant age difference. First, both people have to be adults. I don't use that term in the legal sense. Yes, that's important, but so is the fact that both people have to bring life experience to the table. If they don't, that is a recipe for disaster. Secondly, the age difference can't truly matter to either of them. It's fine to joke a little about it, but if you're truly not comfortable with the fact that you were driving before your partner was born, then you're putting obstacles in the road that will be difficult to overcome.
Finally, just like any other relationship, you have to be right for each other. That's all I can really question here - it doesn't sound to me like you're doomed simply because of your age difference. To put the blame on the age difference suggests that relationships where the partners are close in age survive. The fact is, couples break up (and people divorce) even when they are close in age. When it comes to mismatches, years don't matter. This article was published on Thursday 21 October, 2010. |
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