How Can I Get My Erections Back?

The only tip I feel I should give you is not to completely remove anxiety from your life. To do so may fix your performance issues - which likely have very little to do with your age - but will also rob you of the richness the right kind of anxiety can bring.

Anxiety is a very interesting emotion when it comes to sexual matters. On one hand, as you have reported, it can be destructive if you're so worried about being able to please someone that you can't get an erection. Your partner saying, "I can't wait to be with you tonight" may be meant to be a sweet, sexual advance. Yet if you worry all day about how your performance will be when the time comes, it will likely yield disastrous results, possibly including difficulties getting an erection.

However, feeling amounts of anxiety during the course of a sexual act can be a very positive, rewarding experience. People who have some harmless fun with a risk of getting caught by others report some of their hottest, most passionate sex. A partner being dominated may feel very vulnerable and anxious due to the circumstances, but may revel in the fact that they are the object of their lover's complete affection. And the partner doing the dominating may feel anxiety from the pressure to please their partner, to maintain in control of the situation, and being responsible for a mutually pleasurable outcome. Yet they may take great satisfaction when they successfully uphold that responsibility.

There is a line in movies that says, "There is a peace that can only be found on the other side of war." Similarly, there is a security that can only be found on the other side of anxiety. Only in triumphing over those anxious moments, large or small, will you be able to feel that wonderful, specific kind of achievement. If you've chosen a good sexual therapist who gets you to focus not on the potential failures you my face, but rather the pleasures you will experience, you'll soon know that feeling.