Girls Gone Wild?

Brian's Point

What is up with you gals lately? Exposing “the girls” in public, extreme drinking, and using men for sex! What ever happened to good girls don’t do that?

In the last little while you straight girls are getting out of control by swapping spit a la Britney-Madonna. Okay, men aren’t complaining but we’ve caught on that you’re only sucking face to umm… get a rise out of us.

And what about the paper thin, barely there outfits you girls flaunt around in? You won’t see men whooping it up on the dance floor in a half shirt and short shorts… thank goodness.

You ladies are also starting to have non-committed sex like men. In the past, promiscuous girls were considered sluts, whores, or used. But now girls who play musical beds seem celebrated.

Okay Trina, I know what you’re thinking. EQUALITY. If we condemn or condone one gender we must do the same to the other gender. To be honest, I have to agree. But as much as I hate to admit it, there might be some truth at the root of this double standard.

Society admires someone who attains something that is difficult to achieve. And since a lot of you gals have been taught to keep your legs together tighter than a bolt on the space shuttle, it is generally pretty tough for a guy to mount a harem of women.

But if he does, wow, does he get accolades—at least from his buddies. They know just how hard that was to accomplish.

For you ladies that have more than a few notches on your bedpost you’ve probably noticed that we don’t admire someone who easily gives something away that is highly admired.

Is this stud/slut double standard an outdated concept? I teach sex education to thousands of youth each year and they seem to think it is. However, when I ask, “What do you call a man (or woman) who has lots of sexual partners?” their answers show they still subscribe to an old set of beliefs.

Should we really be condemning individuals who are a little loose in the loins? I don’t see a problem with promiscuity as long as it is consensual, healthy, and safe.

I know most of you liberated women don’t buy into this nonsense anymore, but are there any virgins left in this girl’s gone wild world?

Trina's Counterpoint

For heaven’s sake Brian, why is it always women’s sexuality that has to be locked up tight in a high tower?

Starting at birth girls get barraged with “Just say N. O. to sex.” Women are the sex gatekeepers, the ones who keep control. Not ironically, when a gal finally meets her Prince Charming she doesn’t know how to truly let go and enjoy her sexuality.

The long term consequence? More married women than I care to count are in the throes of lackluster sex. Because by following the rules of what a “good girl does” meant sex was about: getting pregnant, getting an STD, being labeled a slut. Sex was never, ever about having fun.

As such, a plethora of moms have told me they never wanted their daughters growing up with the same sexual inferiority complex that they did. And now Brian we are finally witness to a nation of young, sexually confident women. Women who listened to their moms and now are being punished for it. What gives?

I believe the over-25 women are looking at the sexual freedom these girls have and are unconsciously angry that their entire life has been lived in the shadow of good girl sex. Their daughters are looking their sexuality straight in the eye and unabashedly enjoying it.

How this anger manifests itself is insidious. For example, I’m finding a huge disparity between reality and what’s being reported in the news. I’ve been at venues where gals are sober and in complete control of their faculties, baring it all for the Girl’s Gone Wild camera. I then watch them walk away really quite pleased with their efforts. Come the next morning the newspapers pontificate how these girls are being exploited and we must “save” our nation of young women for their own morality’s sake.

That said, I agree with you Brian that we must look at the lady’s motivation for putting her sexuality out there. Some girls want the attention and know they will get it by pulling these antics—the price for this outside validation is low self-esteem. Some girls do it because their friends are doing it. These are not good reasons to get down.

Bottom line: We really need to rethink the mixed message we are giving to our young ladies. Girls gone wild are simply girls catching up to boy’s sexual confidence.