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Why have I never had an orgasm through sex?

Dear Sex Doc,

Help!!! I’m 31 years old, I’ve been married to the same man for 9 years, and I have never had an orgasm during sex. This is putting a huge strain on my relationship with my husband. Whenever my husband wants sex I use the excuse that I’m too busy. I really want to do it, but I also want to enjoy it. What can I do?

Determined to Cum

Dear Determined to Cum,

This is more common than you may think. Studies have found that only about a third of woman consistently have orgasms through penis-vagina sex. You women out there might not be aware of this, but most guys don’t know much about a female’s erogenous zones. They talk the talk, but if guys really knew do you really think 33% of you would be staring at the ceiling in total boredom during sex?

Here’s the scoop. The woman’s clitoris is her pleasure organ. The only reason it exists is for pleasure. It has no other function. The clitoris has more nerve endings than the entire penis – 8,000 in fact. Stimulation of the clitoris is the easiest and most reliable way for most women to attain orgasm. The clitoris prefers quick movements like from a tongue, finger, or vibrator.

During penis-vagina sex the clitoris is often ignored. Experts have determined three, sexual positions in which the clitoris and the G-spot are much likelier to be stimulated resulting in greater orgasm consistency for women. The positions are: woman on top facing their partner, doggy-style, and man from behind in the spooning position.

And remember, hetero sex is not just penis and vagina. Either partner can stimulate the woman’s clitoris with their hands or a vibrator during penetration to ensure she gets to Planet O. Try these suggestions Determined to Cum, and you’ll be reaching orgasm in no time.

Best regards,

Dr. Brian Parker

Prev: How do I tell my boyfriend I've been faking orgasms? - Up: Orgasm - Next: I’ve never had a g-spot orgasm. Is this normal?

This article was published on Saturday 23 December, 2006.

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