Why do humans have pubes?

Dear Ms. Bush

It seems everyone is talking about what to do with their pubes nowadays. Should I shave them? Dye them chartreuse? Trim them down to a runway strip?

It seems no one (at least under 30) is letting his or her bush sprout. And, with so many people trimming their hedges Ms. Bush, one does have to wonder what the hell they are there for in the first place?

Experts aren’t exactly sure why we have pubes, but there have been a few theories, which seem to make sense. The most probable, is that our pubes increase the surface area of the genitals and trap sexual pheromones in the precious groin area.

When you or a potential partner get a whiff of scentually stimulating pheromones it sends genitals into erotic overload. So, all you ‘Brazilians’ out there might not be as ‘sexy’ as you thought you were.

Another common theory is that pubes are a sign of reproductive readiness. That is, once a boy or a girl hits puberty, they are now capable of sexual interactions and pregnancy.

I’ve even heard a few individuals suggest that our pubes reduce friction between the genitals during sex. But, I’d think rubbing a couple of monster bushes together could potentially result in a massive bush fire.

So Ms. Bush, there’s the long and skinny on your short and curlies. You have them for the rest of your life. Do with them what you please.

Best regards,