Why do nice guys always finish last?

Dear Horny Nice Guy,

I hear a lot of guys complaining that ‘nice guys always finish last.’ And, for a young college bloke like yourself this might be true. You see Horny Nice Guy, some girls (especially the young ones) just wanna have fun.

College is the time to meet new people, date, experience, and explore. Most girls aren't looking for Mr. Right, they’re looking for Mr. Right Now.

You’ve probably noticed that lots of girls go after guys who fit the ‘bad boy’ image. And why shouldn’t they? Boys with attitudes can definitely spice up your life.

I’ve also heard that girls date Fonzie to try and convert them into Richie Cunningham. Good luck ladies. You don’t have much of a chance until a guy’s testosterone drops after thirty.

People also assume that dirty boys are terrific lovers, whereas purists are dead lays. This may be true for some, but everyone is different in the sack regardless of their personality. In fact, a lot of shy people are porn stars in the bedroom.

Though most girls definitely don’t want to date mean guys, they like guys with balls. Girls want to date guys who have a mind of their own, someone who can make decisions, and can stand up for what they believe in.

Quite often, nice guys put everybody in front of themselves. Though this may be nice once in a while, it gets pretty annoying as time goes on. Women do not want to date a doormat.

There may even be biological reasons why women are attracted to big, strong, men. Studies have shown that women who are ovulating are more attracted to dominant men. After ovulation, the same women are attracted to submissive homebodies.

Now Horny Nice Guy, even though I’m explaining why some girls like assholes, I’m not telling you to drop your sweet ways and go ballistic on the babes. If the girls aren’t stuck on you yet, they will be in the near future.

Lots of gals are looking for a Mr. Nice Guy. It’s best not to compromise who you are (even for a piece of tail). Just be yourself, whoever you truly are, and you’ll meet your perfect match some day.

Best regards,

Dr. Brian Parker