Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

I'll agree with you that if you're looking for something serious then you wouldn't want to land a girl who likes you because you're an asshole. But I suppose it depends on what you mean by "nice" guys finishing last.

If you think "nice" means that you compliment them every 3 minutes, shower them with gifts, write them poems 2 days after you meet them, call 10 times a day, tell them you want them to meet your family after going out twice, and things like that, then that nice guy will probably finish last. But it's not because women don't want someone nice. It's because a guy like that just tried to make his life her life, and her life his life. That's not attractive, and not just to women. You'd hate it too. You can't have the mindset of "If a little niceness is good, then a lot of niceness is even better!" You can definitely go overboard with that.

But you can definitely be "nice" and get women. Telling a woman that you had a good time meeting her for coffee is nice. Holding a door open for her is nice. Being on time when you go pick her up is nice. Sharing a laugh is nice.

If you're like most guys, your mother raised you to be a good husband - the ideal man as seen from her perspective - but not how to get a girl in the first place. There is nothing wrong with that, but you need to understand that they're two incredibly different things. Many of the things that are causing you to strike out with new girls will be fantastic to know how to do once you're in a deep, long-term relationship.

"Nice guys finish last" should be changed to "desperate wusses finish last." It's not that being nice is a bad thing, but when you come across as not having your own life, ideas, opinions or personality, there isn't much that seems like it's worth getting to know about you. If you have things that are intriguing, intangible, and possibly unobtainable about you, then you're definitely going to seem like you're worth getting to know more about.

Curiosity killed the cat, but it brings pussies to life.