I understand that we all have arguments but my boyfriend does something that I don't quite get. Whenever we argue and then work it out, he jokes about the situation later even if I was really upset. For example, the other night I was late for a picnic he had planned for us. It was totally my fault and I eventually admitted that in our argument. We were 100% fine after that. Once he opened up the picnic basket, he pulled out some grapes that were now warm and smiled and said, “I'm surprised these aren't raisins by now!” I thought it was really rude of him but he does things like that all the time! Is that a guy thing? I've talked to my friends about it and their boyfriends don't do it.
- S.A., California
Maybe it is a guy thing because I think that's rather smart of him.
Actually, many people do things like you are describing to me here. Say you have an argument over an issue. Tensions are high and it's not only a big deal to the two of you, but it's probably feeling like an even bigger deal than it would be if you just heard that someone else had the same issue. You go back and forth trying to express to each other basically, “It's important to me because of this” and, “Well, it's important to me because of this.” Normally, the dust settles and cooler heads prevail.
Joking about it shows you that he has his emotions about the issue under control and feels that it's no longer a big deal to him.
Relax. If you've settled your issue, it's no longer a big deal to you either. Or is it?
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This article was published on Saturday 23 October, 2010.
