Is It Normal To Test Guys In A Relationship By Hurting Them?

This is a tricky thing because of how we’re brought up and the experiences we have. This reminds me of – and touches on some of the same ideas as - the very first article on this site. We all know that we want someone great and special, but do we know what to do with them once we get them? I don’t remember ever being taught how, once we find what we’re looking for, to continually nourish that relationship and make it thrive. A lot of the time it’s so much to deal with that it’s frightening on some subconscious level and we start to retreat, seemingly illogically.

The first step in fixing this sort of issue is recognizing what the problem is, which it seems like you’ve done. Take a night or two just for yourself and do some thinking about this. Go to your favorite spot, leaving your phone, work, and everything else on your mind somewhere else. Think about why you do what you do and what steps you can take in the future to avoid this sort of situation. Take some time to get to know yourself. That idea sounds nearly insulting because we all like to think we know ourselves inside and out, but if you face facts, that’s not the case. Any time you can increase how self-aware you are and why you do what you do, the better.

As for the “one in particular” guy, why don’t you tell him what you’ve said here? If he had feelings for you, he’ll appreciate that kind of vulnerable honesty and respect you for it, no matter the outcome.