Is it possible for me to be addicted to lust?

Dear Lust Junkie,

It definitely sounds to me that you are addicted to the intense sensations you feel during the beginning of your relationships. Even if it doesn’t work for you, it makes sense physiologically.

You see Lust Junkie, when we fall in love, the love drug Plenylethylanine (PEA) is released. This chemical substance makes us feel euphoric and on the top of the world. It also stimulates other brain chemicals like norepinephrine and dopamine.

The reason you’re addicted is that these chemicals are the body’s natural version of amphetamines. So Lust Junkie, you’re actually a human ‘speed’ hound.

What you’re always craving is the infatuation phase of a relationship. In this state, you are constantly obsessing, daydreaming, and thinking about that special someone. It’s a blissful time in your life when you don’t want to hang with anyone else.

Experts report that this lust phase can last anywhere from a few weeks to three years. And Lust Junkie, it sounds like your dopamine shuts off pretty quick.

Studies also show that over time our bodies build a tolerance to these chemicals. Lust Junkie, do you find it is harder and harder to attain these feelings with another person, and, when you finally do, are they quick to dissipate?

Remember, when you are in this romantic state when you can’t stop thinking of them (and your friends can’t stop thinking about killing you), you are not in love with them. You are in lust with them.

Lust Junkie, you are addicted to the lust-at-first-site infatuation phase. It sounds like you are already aware, that if you don’t snap out of this obsession, you won’t ever have a long-term, healthy relationship. You’ll also start to have expectations that these lust feelings have to be present for you to fall in love with someone.

But, it’s impossible to be in the throes of romantic lust indefinitely. You’ll eventually have to come down… hard. People in your shoes generally end up being somewhat depressed when the high of new lust disappears.

Even if you feel there could be a future with this individual, you’ll drop them like a hot potato and go on your chemical fix once again.

Just like any addiction, the first step is acknowledging you have a problem. You’ve done that. Once you realize the severity of your addiction, and that the probability of ending up with a life-long lover is slim to none, you may kick the chemical in the butt.

Best regards,

Dr. Brian Parker