How Far Should An Argument Go In A Relationship With Big Age Gap

A really important thing to learn about relationships is that if you are together long enough, you will argue. It's inevitable. A true measure of how mature you are in your relationships is what you do when it happens. I imagine what your boyfriend meant was that he rarely argued in his past relationships or kept it to a minimum when it did indeed happen.

How far should an argument go? Well, let's look at why we argue in the first place. For the most part, we argue to let the other individual(s) in our relationships know that we have needs not being met, whether it's something small like, "I really am getting sick of watching this TV show every Thursday night," or something deeper like, "I used to trust and respect you, but since you cheated on me, it's just not there anymore."

The problem most people run into is that we're so upset about something that, even after we express our need in the form of conflict, we keep going with it because it's important to us to know that they understand 100%. You need to learn how to express how you feel and then give your boyfriend a chance to reciprocate any concerns he has about the issue and also give him a chance to let you know he understands how you feel. I'm not sure if you are doing this, but don't assume you need to talk until you're blue in the face before he finally understands you.

It's a good idea to keep it brief, if possible. Conflicts are part of a healthy relationship, but they aren't inherently healthy, nor are they something you want a relationship to be full of. Fight fair, say what you need to say, and listen. That will serve you well.