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How can I tell my lover I want to mix it up a bit?

Dear Sex Doc,

I want to try something new. How can I tell my lover I want to mix it up a bit without offending him?

Mixing It Up

Dear Mixing It Up,

It has a lot to do with what you mean by ‘mix it up a bit.’ If you’re talking about trying a couple of new positions it shouldn’t be that difficult. However, if you want some downright kinky sex with him you might have a harder time convincing him. It is best to communicate your sexual desires to your partner. Tell him what you’d like to try. And, if you can’t tell him, you might have to show him.

Purchase a book and show your partner what you want to try. Often people are scared to try new things so you might have to gently nudge him along. It is important to respect his boundaries. If he really doesn’t want to try something, you can’t force him. He might just need to feel more comfortable with things before he’ll come around for you.

Best regards,

Dr. Brian Parker

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This article was published on Saturday 10 May, 2008.

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