I feel like my girlfriend is all of my missing puzzle pieces. Is there any truth to that "You complete me" cliche or have I just watched too many movies?
- Tiffany, Tampa, FL
There are a couple of ways to look at this, but in my view, the search for love is the search for what you perceive to be the ideal version of yourself. It's an ultimately complicated process of many things, with two primary events: 1) showing your partner qualities you possess and 2) taking in valued qualities they possess. This is largely for your own personal validation and your need to feel whole, respectively. When you find someone special, you realize that your relationship is an opportunity for personal growth.
So to answer your question, there is some truth to that cliche. It's a much more romantic way to express, "You represent an opportunity of growth through validation and entirety that I feel the need to pursue as part of my natural human being tendencies" for sure!
If the above is true, an interesting question is raised. Does improving oneself make it more difficult to find someone to make you feel whole? Theoretically, if you have worked hard over the years to fill many of your own personal and emotional gaps, then a partner may not be as valuable to you on the end where you are searching for that need to feel completed. Something to think about.
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This article was published on Saturday 23 October, 2010.