My boyfriend is out of town at least two weeks of the month. We have a great sex life but as you might guess, it's not as easy to be sexual when he's hundreds and sometimes thousands of miles across the country. He's suggested that we have phone sex, but I really don't know if I can do that. Do you have any advice?
Derick, Jefferson, LA
Typically, sexual experiences involve a lot of interaction between two people that can only take place in a physical sense: kissing, rubbing, grabbing, nibbling, licking, hugging, spooning, and similar things. However, there are things that go on that aren't solely part of the physical act. When you are with your partner, do you tell him what you like or what you'd like to do with him? Do you tell him how much he turns you on? Does he make you feel that he's really enjoying the experience as well? Phone sex is basically just that plus a guided masturbation fantasy. All you need is to relax and use a little imagination.
Starting it is the hardest part for beginners. What helps is doing what you might normally do when you masturbate alone. Have a glass of wine (one, not seven), put on some quiet music in the background, lay in your comfortable bed, dim the lights, or whatever it is you need to do. Have your normal phone conversation and when you're ready, just say what's on your mind. "You know what I love? I love when you..." or "When you get back, I want to..." are simple, safe, and sexy ways to start.
In our lifetimes, we'll have many different types of sexual outlets. We may have oral sex, we may have intercourse, we may masturbate together, we may masturbate solely for the viewing pleasure of our partner, we may send a partner sexy photos of us, we may use food in a sexual way, we may talk dirty, we may have group sex, etc. Phone sex is just one of the many types of exciting outlets we have available to us. It might seem a little far out for you, Derick, but it's really not as hard as you might think. Give it a try and I think you'll like it.
Just remember: it's not replacing how great your sex life is; it's supplementing it.
Prev: Is It Normal To Fantasize With The Same Sex? -
Up: Fantasies -
Next: Are All The Hot Porn Stars Gone Now?
This article was published on Saturday 14 August, 2010.
