What's A Good Way To Apologize And Still Be Manly?

That quivering lip. Those little sniffles. Tissue after tissue. How could you do that to her, S.D.?

Actually, don't worry about it too much. Hurting each other's feelings is bound to happen in every relationship - you'll hurt hers somehow and she'll hurt yours. So, whether you like it or not, apologizing is also part of every relationship.

Contrition is difficult for a lot of guys. It means that someone who is genetically positioned to protect and lead the way has made a miscalculation. And we're notorious for not owning up to mistakes. But there are benefits. You'll feel better, she'll feel better, and everyone respects those who do the right thing.

It doesn't work to apologize a hundred times or to go on and on about it. That's a bit too much and sounds insincere. Also, you saying, "Sorry then" probably isn't doing the trick. It sounds like you're apologizing just because she's upset. "I guess since you're crying, that means I should be sorry." So what do you do?

If you screwed up, take responsibility. Not just to her, but to yourself. "I know I messed up and there is no justification for what I did." Be a man. Own up to the situation.

Show that you regret what happened. "I feel awful that this happened and that you're hurt."

Let her know what she can expect from you in the future. "That was terrible. It's not worth messing up our relationship. That won't happen again."

Saying sorry doesn't mean you aren't manly or have lost any masculine ground. It makes you more of a man, if anything.