I'm recently married but my husband and I are having a problem. He won't touch me during my period. I admit that I don't feel sexual ALL of the time but for him to be so disgusted with me during that week is upsetting to me. In fact, he is so periodphobic that he won't even pick up tampons for me when he goes to the store. Sometimes I even have to make a separate trip when, believe me, that's the last thing I want to be doing. Are all guys this bad?
- J., NM
I'm not sure if we should blame this on Leviticus or society's resistance to think for themselves. It seems that both men and women have been told for so long that women are "dirty" or "unclean" during their period that they've all started to believe it. This can lead to a couple of problems. For women, they may believe they are dirty so they may deny their partner when he's interested in being sexual with her. And for men, they may run into the problem your husband is having.
In my view, any rational couple who puts it all out on the table should have no problem dealing with this. You're human and that's part of it; get over it. They should both stop pretending that it doesn't exist and, more importantly, stop thinking that there is something wrong with a woman for being a woman.
Just as a side, this all sometimes even extends to the ridiculous idea that guys should be embarrassed to go get their partner tampons when they need them. Trust me guys, nobody is under the impression that they are for you. A woman having her period is a natural biological process just like many we deal with on a daily basis. Guys wouldn't be ashamed to buy their partner Pepto-Bismol, tissues, or toilet paper, would they?
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This article was published on Saturday 16 October, 2010.
