I found a stolen Playboy in the bedroom of my 14-year old but I didn't say anything to him. I figure it's better to look at Playboys than look at XXX stuff online, so should I say anything?
- Dan, Sherman, WI
Desire to see nudity is a natural part of development. And at age 14, he probably knows more than you might guess.
Like other areas of development and growth, the sexual behavior of children changes and develops as time passes by. There are things that are totally normal and appropriate and there are things that are inappropriate. The trouble is when we run into a gray area where it isn't clear as to what is right to do and what is wrong.
Luckily, you don't always have to solve that gray area; this one is clear. A child simulating sexual acts at preschool every day at lunch is socially inappropriate. A 14-year-old boy curious and interested in a woman's body is appropriate.
At that age, your boy probably has enough social pressure to deal with and could do without dad coming down on him for having what is basically a Victoria's Secret catalog, minus 2 inches of fabric. If you do talk to him, which hopefully isn't your first conversation about sexual information, ask if he has any questions or if there's anything he needs to know from you. Create an environment where there is no guilt, no shame, no secrets, and where information is exchanged freely, in both directions. You may have a thing or two to learn about a different generation.
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This article was published on Wednesday 06 October, 2010.
