How Effective Are Dating Seminars?

It seems to me that almost every guy I’ve ever talked to who is clearly intelligent has struggled with this issue or something similar.

The problem is that when you’re intelligent, you have certain advantages over the average person. Usually you do things right, you come up with ideas to solve problems, and since you’re usually right and can use your mind to your advantage, when something doesn’t go your way everything seems amiss.

The problem is that when it comes to relationships with women, the tools you usually use to problem solve and get your way aren’t effective. Most intelligent people look for solutions that come from acquiring more information. The problem is, you can get all the information you want in this arena and it doesn’t matter. This isn’t the same as learning how to install a gasket in an engine. There is no step-by-step process that will lead to success every time. First, each situation is so specific that Second, the results aren’t repeatable - what works with one woman isn’t guaranteed to work with the next. How discouraging!

In my experience, you need to have two things going for you.

1) You need a good set of social skills, which aren’t something you can learn or read in any book. You might be able to get a general concept from somewhere but eventually you’re going to have to put it into play and develop it on your own. If you haven’t taken the time to do this, you’re going to be fighting an uphill battle. You need to learn how to adapt to any conversation and any situation.

2) You have to stop talking about intelligent things, at least at first. When you’re with your friends, they might care how you used Drake’s Equation to estimate that there are 11 intelligent civilizations within 4752 light years from Earth.

Most women won’t. Your friends probably won’t want to talk about how Justin Timberlake has hooked up with Cameron Diaz, Janet Jackson, Jessica Biel, and Scarlett Johansson, all within the last two years. A lot of women will. Who does that Timberlake think he is, anyway?

That isn’t to say that women don’t enjoy intelligent conversation. They certainly do. But that isn’t the vibe that most women want to feel from you initially. Most women want to talk about things that make them feel a certain way, not things that make them think a certain way. As a general rule, you should try to be seen as interesting at first, then intelligent later.