Which Is More Important In The Long Run? Spark And Passion Or Co

There is an evolution in every lasting relationship. Typically, when we are with someone new, we know so little about them that we can't wait to fill in all the gaps that are natural for two people to have at the beginning. How do they kiss? What is their best memory of their childhood? What is their shower routine? How do they taste? Where did they learn to tie their shoes in a different way than you? What inspires them?

The filling of the chasm between two personalities is exciting - it's often full of passion and desire and can awaken emotions you weren't even aware you carried around inside. This excitement is felt through your whole mind and body and can lead to some frequently amazing mental discoveries as well as frequently amazing bouts of physical love.

Over time, as the gaps become more and more filled in, we perceive this as comfort and dependability. After all, we know many of the things we didn't know before. The question of "Who are they" has been slowly replaced by the statement of "This is who they are." It's not that we care less for them; we just usually care for them in a different way. This is also a great feeling. We have that familiar face to come home to at night. We have someone who understands the little things like how we're probably just cranky because we haven't eaten in a while. We have someone who believes in us. We have someone that helps us reach our goals. We have someone that we can be proud of.

However, most of the time, we don't see what we've gained. We see what we've lost: the passion. The spark. And we liked that passion and aren't happy that it's not as abundant as it used to be. What good is having your cake if you can't eat it, right?

So what's the fix? Most of the time, I hear people suggesting "keeping it new." This might be a weekend getaway, a trip without the kids, trying a new sexual position, having a specific night of the week where you go on a date, and so forth. These are good ideas, but if you fail to realize the most important thing, those are just band-aids and won't solve anything. First you have to realize that the sparks aren't going to come from where they used to. For the most part, when it comes to your partner, the unknown is now known. But realize this: your passion can be felt because of the comfort and dependability you have with your partner. Isn't there something incredibly stirring about someone who is always there for you, laughs at your jokes, supports your decisions, and knows you inside and out? If your endless appreciation for someone and their mutual appreciation for you doesn't arouse something inside of you, I don't know what will.

If you've found the right person, I'm about to tell you something you already know. Both passion and comfort are important. It's not a trade-off; it's a balance and appreciation for both.